total lol

[xfinalx]

1) I don't have ADHD i just...do you like waffles?

2) If a synchronized swimmer drowns, does that mean they all have to?

3) People are like slinkies. Basically useless, and yet it's so amusing to watch them fall down the stairs.

4) I have CDO. It's like OCD but all of the letters are in alphabetical order...like they should be.

5) It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces.

6) The early bird gets the worm, but it's the second mouse that gets the cheese.

7) I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.

8) Jesus saves. Passes to Moses, he shoots, he scores!!!

9) Heaven doesn't want me and hell is afraid I'll take over.

10) MY friends are cooler than giraffes. And giraffes, they're cool.

11) I'm not random, I'm just HEY LOOK A SQUIRREL!

12) You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You jump off a cliff, I laugh.

13) A good friend will bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Dang, that was fun!"

14) You know what? I just forgot.

15) They never suspect the short one.

16) I'm going CRAZY! You want to come with?

17) When life gives you MELONS you know you're dislexic.

18) I'm lost. I've gone to look for myself, so if I get back before I return, please ask me to wait. ~Me

19) Qu'est-ce que 'sup?

20) iTune you out.

21) If tylenol, duct tape, or a band-aide can't help, you've got a serious problem.

22) Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

23) Anyone else having trouble getting to Narnia?

24) Whoever said that nothing was impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door.

25) I've used up all of my sick days so I'm calling in dead.

26) Stereotyping? How do you type with a stereo?

27) People who don't know me think I'm quiet. People who do wish I was. =]

28) I didn't slap you, I high-fived your face.

29) Haha. Wait, what?

30) You're a great friend, but if the zombies are chasing us, I'm tripping you.

31) DEATH: the number 1 killer in the U.S...tell your friends.

32) My spoon is too big...

33) AHHHHHHHHHH! Oh, it's just the toaster. Again.

34) Team Jacob! Because REAL men don't sparkle. That's a little fruity...

35) Automatic doors make me feel like a JEDI!!!!!!

36) Hey stupid! Your sock is untied...

37) If my calculations are correct...slinkies + escalator = EVERLASTING FUN!!!

38) Insanium in the cranium dawg!!! (that 1's 4 u molly! <3)

39) Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

40) "To be is to do"
~Socrates
"To do is to be"
~Sartre
"Do be do be do."
~Sinatra

41) I'll have a cafe-mocha-vodka-valium-latte to go please.

42) Poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke POKE! I'm so winning.

43) Superhero: *glares at assistant*
Superhero's assistant: *stares sullenly at floor*
Superhero: I am the superhero. I make the wooshing noises. (his cape...get it?)

44) Friends are like potatoes, if you eat them, they die.

45) I speak whale!!!

46) When life hands you lemons, make grape juice and sit back while the world wonders how you did it.

47) Of all the people I know, you're one of them.

48) Do you think it's because we're awesome? I think it's because we're awesome.

49) Ever notice that studying is "student" and "dying" put together?

50) Owww! Charlie!!! Charlie bit me...

51) Procrastinators; the leaders of tomorrow.

52) Im not random, you just can't think as fast as me.

53) ='( you eated my cookie?

54) nananananananana BATMAN!!!!

55) Careful, you may end up in my novel.

56) Shun the non-believers!!!!!!

57) Tu madre. You just got burnt in spanish.

58) Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.

59) Chocolate is the answer no matter what the question is.

60) So my friend texted me asking what idk meant so I said i don't know. She texted back saying OMG NO ONE KNOWS!!!!

61) Don't make me go all crazy white girl on you!

62) "Sorry that was my last piece of gum": biggest lie in America.

63) Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

64) We're so cool ice cubes are jealous.

65) Im not as random as you think I salad.

66) Dislexics UNTIE!!!!!

67) It's okay pluto. I'm not a planet either.

68) Bom chicka wah wah!

69) Did you know that if you say "gullible" slowly is sounds like green beans?

70) Ever wonder why bologna and lasagna don't rhyme?

71) Laughing until your stomach hurts is what friends are for.

72) God made men first then...He had a better idea!

73) Without ME you're just AWESO

74) If people were all meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters.

75) A snack that smiles back until you bite their heads off goldfish!

76) Unless life also hands you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

77) I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

78) I have ADOS; Attention Deficit Oooh...Shiny!!!

79) BFF!
p.s. I mean forever. You're never getting rid of me ;-)

80) Smile it makes people wonder what you're up to. :-)

81) I is a collage stoodent.

82) Wanna hear a joke?
......miley cyrus.

83) On a scale of 1 to crazy I'm a penguin.

84) If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

85) I don't get it...boys think girls are so complicatd. Haven't they met themselves?

86) I see no good reason to act my age.

87) Don't follow my footsteps, I run into walls.

88) Everything happens for a reason...except for clowns. I mean seroiusly, what the heck?

89) Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.

90) Be a dork!!! Because being cool is overrated.

91) At this moment, you're the oldest you've ever been. Pretty deep huh?

92) Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.

93) Hey you! Yeah you! No, not you, the other guy. You right there! Do you like tacos?

94) (On a sign at a chinese restaurant...) No! We no see cat of yours. No more ask please.

95) Making us all wish we were blind:Speedo.

96) Worst time to have a heart attack; during a game of charades.

97) If you're reading this then you're not dead. Good for you.

98) I ROCK! Guitar hero told me.

99) I tried being normal, but I didn't like it.

100) Who's "she" and why does she keep saying dirty things?

all made up by yours truely.

[Soul Reaper of Death]

rofl those were hilarious by the way wasn't CDO a game system who's graphics were really good but they stopped making it since it was too expensive

[cnd]

While i do think their hilarious, i recognize a few
dumb joke-stealer
well getr all of lorn to beat em up
jk lol

[timemaster222]

i only read to 16, but they were good, so far.

[R O X A S]

lamo those were kool

[chico]

man thats so funny i like the 98 and 97

[xfinalx]

i remember when i posted this....... must of been a month ago. i would have more but i am bored.

[klutz]

this is sorta like what Tai did

[La Tigra]

Ya but this one is way better. I'll probably make one at school tomorrow with my friends.

[klutz]

that would b so kool
im gonna try and make my own too